How to Suck Honey at a Warrior’s Party

“The moon is descending.”

It was time to wake him up.

We surrounded him, some sitting, some standing, but definitely positioned to put pressure on him.

I smiled and thanked everyone for accepting my opinion.

Huhu.

In a previous life, my favorite thing after fantasy novels were thrillers and horror movies.
I’ve watched them dozens of times where someone passes out and wakes up freaking out.

“…do we really need to pour water on him?”

Herrin asked worriedly.

“Yeah.
A bucket of water at once.”

“A bucket of water?”

“Yes.”

I nodded with conviction.

Reg gave me a strange look and said something to the effect that I should probably stay away from the person who told me that.
I shook my head and got no response, so I decided to ignore him.

Above Herriot’s head, the water spirits created a pool of water.

That’s a lot… a lot of water.
An amount just over the size of Herriot’s head shot out of thin air.
He thought it would end there, but it kept growing.

“Huh…?”

“What, not this much?”

Hearing my panic in my voice, Herrin’s face colored with concern, and I realized I hadn’t told her what size bucket it was.
I glanced at the face of the warrior beside me.
His trusting, handsome face reassured me.

“No, no.
That’s right, let’s just pour it in!”

I exclaimed, chewing on my tongue.
Herrin’s eyes narrowed and her finger slid down.

Chak-chak!

In an instant, Herriot was drenched.
The cold water hit him, and he woke up in a surprise.

“Arghhh! Shit! Cylon! Son of a bitch!”

The bastard saw me in front of him and cursed.
I floated down, afraid to get wet, and then I sneer at Herriot.
It was the most obnoxious sneer I could muster.

“How dare you say I’m a son of a son, when you’re not even a dog….”

I loaded up on every curse I could think of.
The rest of my rant was like two pages of a bible covered in dense writing.
As I breathed in and out, a large palm was thrust in front of my face.

It was the warrior.

He was telling me to shut up…? I felt wistful and sullen.
As I pursed my lips, the warrior who had an equally sullen face, whispered.

“Why are you smiling at this asshole?”

“Yes…?”

Sneer is also a smile….
Yes, the warrior chosen by the God may loathe the one who spread the magi….

I managed to fit the warrior’s words in my head.
The warrior’s face reddened as he realized the oddity.

“I… that was… um….”

“Yeah, I’m bad.”

“No, no, no, I said the wrong thing.”

“It’s my fault for smiling at someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Mohan is right!”

I cajoled him so hard that he didn’t feel sorry for himself anymore.
He hid his face with both hands, but it was a satisfactory result.

This time I wasn’t smiling, I was going to swear at him, but his face was already rotten to the bone.
For a moment, I wondered what had happened.

“…? Are you stuck in time and space or something?”

“….”

“Your face looks like it’s been aging for 50 years.”

“Y, y, you fucker!”

For a moment, I contemplated about using the curse that was popular in my previous life.
I was about to say ‘syu’, when Kassel beat me to it.
He punch the back of Herriot’s head.

In the aftermath of the violent movement, blood gushed from a couple of wounds that had only been tourniqueted.
The warrior was spared by my shielding, but Herriot was not, and the sight of water and blood mixing was grotesque.

“You’re so badly wounded, you’re still going to curse?”

Kassel forcibly grabbed Herriot’s head and locked eyes with him.
His head snapped back because Kassel is behind him.

“Ugh, Ka, Kassel….”

His head was tilted back, and he was out of breath.

“Yes, Herriot.
Here’s Kassel, the one who helped you with your experiments when no one else would, the one who repaid the favor by bleeding to death when you were blinded by them.”

The eerie voice fit the basement perfectly.

“Y, you must have lost your mind….”

“Oh well, I guess I need no introduction, since you’ve been coming down to the basement every day to collect my blood.”

Herriot said hard and loudly.

“I’ll see you when you get back to the tower.
You know Dean Chas’ philosophy, right?”

Dean Chas was like a knife when it comes to human trafficking because he needed more experimental bodies than any other major.

If his code of punishment could be boiled down to one sentence, it was ‘an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth’.
As a result, it was not uncommon for him to attend trials of students of other majors, where the guilty would tremble and the victims would laugh.

It was only natural that Dean Chas would preside over the trial, especially since it was between his own students.
Herriot’s appointment was finalized.

As I watched the tears roll down his cheeks, I turned to the party.

“I think this is settled, so let’s go see the Count.”

I also told Kassel to contact the tower.

“What the…!”

The Count looked like he was going to grab the back of his head at any moment.

“As a result of our investigation, we found a kidnapping victim and a large amount of blood in the basement of the count castle.
We also heard a confession from a mage who visited the basement late in the day.”

Many people were gathered in the hall on the first floor of the castle.
Herriot, who had used clean magic to remove the blood, still had his head bowed in disgust.

No matter how low he bowed, there was no one who couldn’t recognize him, who had worked for the count for so long.
The chattering grew louder.

“He tried to plant the magical energy he had extracted from the mage into the ground, hoping to create a gemstone that would contain it.
In the course of his experiments, part of the Tankin Forest was covered in magi.”

I quickly pulled three buckets out of subspace.
The lids on the buckets rattled as the magi reacted to Kassel’s blood.
There was the occasional intake of breath.

“The bucket in front of you contains soil from the forest.
The artificial magi were created from the blood of the mage Kassel, who was held captive in the cellar, and as you can see, they became agitated when he was nearby.
We’ve also been receiving reports of strange reactions from the forest’s inhabitants who have been exposed to it.”

The warrior’s flat tone made it sound like he was reading a report.
The Count seemed to be encouraged by the tone.

“I-I didn’t know, I really didn’t, it’s unfair!”

It was ridiculous that he didn’t know what was going on in the basement of his own estate, or more narrowly, his own castle, but the Count seemed to think it was better to be ridiculous than to be involved in this.

“Sinner Herriot said that the Count had received research funding….”

The laughter grew louder, and he and the other users of the manor rolled their eyes.
It was a struggle to stay out of it.

The cornered Count was about to take a backward step.

Whoo–

A strange sound echoed through the hall.
Everyone looked around in bewilderment.
The silhouettes of several people blurred in front of the door, only to be replaced by familiar faces.

“Ugh, Dean….”

Herriot muttered with a pained look on his face.
I quickly checked the faces of the figures standing around Dean Chas.

He’s not there, is he? No matter how hard I looked, I couldn’t see anyone from the Second Order like me.
But I still felt like hiding.
I told him to contact the tower, but the thought of actually facing it frightened me.

Eventually, I ducked into hiding, using the warrior as a shield and the hood of his robe, a trusted corner, pressed in even deeper.

“I am Chas Holders, Fourth Dean of the tower.
I’m here because I’ve heard there’s been an incident involving the tower.”

The Count’s face grew even whiter at the sight of the tower.

Because even though they were within the empire, but they are treated as an extra-imperial province, the imperial family were enthusiastic about their relationship with the tower.

For example, if you were in the tower, you could see valuables coming in as gifts.
These were all bribes to get mages and magical items to them first.

“Also, there will be someone from the imperial family soon.”

The Count shuddered and turned to run out the back door.

“Bondage.”

Dean Chas’ brief command shot to the Count.
The Count’s body stiffened against the wall.

“Y, you can’t treat me like this!”

The Count shouted, but only the people glanced at him, and no one spoke up to free him.

It was a felony to spread magic during the demon’s rampage, but they didn’t want to get involved with the demon tower.
Fear was written all over the faces of the users, who feared that if they disrespected him, they would be left without a single potion.

All of them had family in Panko.
Moreover, the potions were made by Dean Chas’ students.

“Mohan, we don’t have to wait for the imperial family here, do we?”

I asked the warrior.

“Yes.
Do you want to leave right away?”

“Yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
Right away.
Can we?”

“Sure.”

The smile on his face was very, very trustworthy.

Cautiously, I followed the warrior.
I nudged Reg and Herrin with my wind magic to guide them toward me, and they obediently followed.

“Wait.
Cylon.”

We were almost out of the hall.
Just as I was getting my hopes up, Dean Chas called my name.

“Even if we’re not directly related, say hello.”

I peeked over the warrior’s shoulder and saw a pair of green eyes staring back at me.

“…Hello.”

“Good.
How are you?”

A smile appeared on his sharp face.
Dean Chas was the guy who’d often given me candy when I was a kid.
It was nice to see him.
But I didn’t want to go back to the tower.

“…Yeah.
As you can see.”

“Oh, I see.”

Dean Chas looked at the warrior, who had been grabbed by me and couldn’t turn around.

“…You’re not going to tell him, are you?”

“What?”

“That you saw me.”

“Well, I’m not going to tell.
But I don’t know about your friend.”

Kassel looked straight at him, a mischievous expression on his face.
His pretend thumbs up were ominous.