SHATTERED SOUL

HALEEMAS POV

Ammi, Faruqs mother was already at the front entrance by the door when Faruq drove us through the gate of their huge mansion. We quietly got down from the car as Ammi got closer with outstretched arms gesturing for me to hug her but it always felt weird when I do that.

”She is supposed to be my mother in-law for God sake ”;I felt myself speaking inwardly to my subconscious mind but just when I needed her she went into hiding, coward.

”It is not polite to keep an old woman waiting ” I heard Faruq said as Jiddah nudged me towards Ammi and I shyly went to her and hugged her. Her arms were comforting and it was a nice feeling having a mother figure hug you and before I knew it I was in tears and I felt her rubbing my back telling me things will be alright. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life crying infront of my inlaw, my best friend and fianceé!.

”Oh get a grip of yourself babe and stop embarrassing us ” My subconscious shouted in my head and I pictured her infront of a mirror doing her makeup and rolling her eyes at me.

”Will you shut up! I am having a moment ” and I quickly shook the thought away as I realized I was having a conversation with my self again which happens a lot ever since I blocked away the memories of my childhood and I had no one to talk to except the alter ego I created which was my subconscious.

I laughed out and then froze when I remembered I was in Ammis arms and I quickly let her go and step a feet back away from her.

” Ammi.. I..sorry..ummh… I don ..Ummh ” I stammered as I wiped away my tears not knowing how to explain myself why I was crying one minute and laughing the next but she didn seem to noticed as she feign anger and started scolding me.

”I am so mad at you Haleema for not coming to visit Ammi after a long time ” she scolded but I could detect a hint of a smile beneath the frowned face.

I blushed and looked down at my feet. Ammi was a beautiful woman especially her hazel eyes. I have never seen anything like that. They are so pure and captivating. She was dark in complexion just like me and much more beautiful even at her age, tall but small in frame,and very kind.

The first time I saw Ammi was two years ago when faruq and I officially started dating and he brought me to meet her. She treated me so nice and before I left I knew I loved her. She was everything I could wish of a mother and I couldn wait to be part of her family as my best friend and lover came from her and I knew without a doubt that her family was where I belong to. I do visit her but not as much and anytime she request to see me, I do bring up lame excuses of lectures and assignments although she knows of my class schedule as I attend the same class and lectures with Jiddah but there are times when I don escape her as she do call my dad and begged him to let me visit her which he never refused. I just feel so shy around her.

”Are we going to stand here all day Ammi as you stare at Leemah or are you going to scold Brother for ditching me this morning? ” Jiddah said in a sulking manner and I made a mental note to thank her later for breaking the awkward moment.

”I haven forgotten sweetheart and trust me I will but your dad is back and request to see your big brother. ” Ammi replied her as she gestured for Faruq to go meet their dad.

”You will be alright without me, yay babes? ” He asked me and I blushed further feeling more embarrassed. I don know how he always do that, expressing his feelings in front of his mum who never seems to care.

”No!..we are going to eat her up and poo her remains out ” That came from Jiddah, the carefree at home but the rule abider in school. We all laughed and follow Ammi to the main part while Faruq head to his dads side.

”You girls should go to Jiddahs room and pray then come down for lunch ” Ammi announced before heading to her own room.

We quickly climbed a flight of stairs and knowing the house from the times I came visiting, I located the last room on the corridor which belongs to Jiddah and I barged in barely saying salam with Jiddah right behind me.

I heaved out a sigh of relief Ive been holding ever since I met Ammi and quickly relieved myself of my heels and scarf before heading to the bathroom to perform Ablution and praying thr afternoon Prayer.

I concluded my prayers but delayed getting up just to avoid the tantrum which definitely will come from Jiddah who was sprawled on her bed and angry after I left her with Jabir earlier at school despite her pleas.

I knew she kept to her self and didn complain in front of her brother for scared of getting scolded. He doesn like Jabir.

”What was that you did earlier Madam! ” She exclaimed as she turned to me still on the bed while stretching on her side with her left hand supporting her temple. But I ignored her.

”Haleema, please you got to listen to me ” I looked up as she climbed out of bed and knelt in front of me while holding my hands. I knew that I had to listen, she hardly calls my name.its always Lily or Leemah but hearing her call my name told me how serious she was.

I have known Jiddah for 3years now ever since I got into the Skyline University. We met after I finished my registration with which Faruq helped me unknown to me then, that he was her brother and my lecturer.

We met at the lecture hall and hit it off right there and she has been the most amazing friend I could ever have. She was 2years younger than I am but behaves like a grown woman and she inherited her mothers eyes but is fair just like her dad and got dimples like her brother Faruq. Her personality was similar to mine which was one of the things that kept us together. We do have our bad moment as friends but do I love her and can do anything to make her happy. She was that sister I never had.

”Yes Jiddah what is it ” I asked.

”Why are you treating Jabir like that?…He was there for you and you just left which is so not fair ” She stated.

Why do you care?..i mean what is wrong with you?..You know I am dating your brother so I think Jabir should be the least of your concern! ” I replied getting angry and standing up while looking down at her demanding a reply but it never came and realization dawn on me when she started sobbing.

”Oh no!..please don tell me you are in love with him ” I asked as I resumed my kneeling position Infront of her but this time around I held her hands.

She just nodded which told me all I need to know.

”Since when Jiddoh?.. Since when have you been crushing? ” I pressurized her for an answer.

”Since Forever Lily. Since the first day I saw him and that was 3years ago. I thought it was just plain admiration but I came to realize that it is love and I have fallen deep but…. ”

”But what ” I urged her to continue

”But he got his eyes only on you, not me or anybody else and I tried to forget him but I still can ”

”God!..Jiddoh I thought you are smart. He is a Playboy for Heaven sakes!..He has a reputation with girls even before we enrolled in this Institute! ” I burst out not believing my best friends confession.

”Please Haleema you got to help me. Believe me I tried to forget him but it is not working ”

”Well it will. If you can love him for 3years then I guess one year won hurt, he is graduating next year and you won get to see him ever again ” I said while standing and moving over to the bed.

”Haleema please, just do me this favour. Give him a chance. let him see you so just I can see him. Being away from him is killing me I swear ” She said and joined me on the bed and i couldn believe what I heard.

”Are you Insane?..I AM DATING YOUR BROTHER! ” I emphasized on the last sentence.

”I know and I am not saying you should love Jabir. Just give him a chance to see you. That is all. Please understand. Put yourself in my shoes and you will understand ”

”Why don you tell him?..why don you look him in the eye and express yourself ” I asked her.

”Because he has never notice me. He doesn even know of my existence ” She answered.

”Ain you scared he might break your heart? ” I asked concerned.

”Let him notice me first. Then maybe, just maybe I can hope for a relationship ”

”Hey girls what are you still doing in there?..Lunch is getting cold ” Ammi called from the other end of the room.

”Coming ” We replied in unison.

”And you, this conversation is not over ” I said to her before getting up and putting on my scarf and picking my heels.

”Does that means you will consider it?..please lily? ” She begged sweetly.

”I will think about it but do send his number ” I said as she squealed and squeeze me In the name of a hug.

”I love you best ” she mouthed and I couldn help but laughed.

I mean isn life crazy?. My best friend was madly in love with someone while he in turn was in love with another who was madly in love with someone else. And I knew right there and then that I got to keep that smile forever on my friends lips. She deserves to be happy.