This Love is Futile

Chapter 38: It’s Not Going to Come True (NSFW)

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Today we were doing it face-to-face so we could kiss.
We did it face-to-face the other day, but this was on a chair, not on the bed.
I have to ride it myself, so this was embarrassing and difficult for me.

“Despite how shy you are, you can’t resist grinding on me, you’re the best…”

“D-… don’t say that… nn, ah, ah…!”

Vidello grabbed my ass and pushed me up and down, but the movement alone wasn’t enough.
Even so, my dick rubbing between our bellies felt so good I was starting to become mindlessly horny.

“Here, not, ah…!”

I want you to overwhelm me relentlessly in bed.
More, pound me deep inside.
I want messy french kisses and cuddles.
I can’t be satisfied in a chair with such limited movement.
I desperately begged Vidello-san with a completely unsatisfied shy expression, and he nodded that he understood and kissed me.
While still inserted in me, Vidello-san stood up and carried me in his arms.

“Aaaah!”

I sank further down Vidello-san under my own weight, and I couldn’t help moaning.
I mean, WHAT WAS THIS?! Don't walk while inside of me, because I can feel every footstep deep inside!

“Uh, uuhnn, ah, wait, Vidello-sa… it’s too mu- deep…”

I heard Vidello-san’s muffled laughter reverberate in my ears as I desperately clung to him.
He was very strong indeed and was walking steadily, but it was still too much!

“Aah, ah… com- coming.”

With every step he took, he penetrated deeply and I saw stars as he advanced toward the bed.
“Come,” he whispered and moved the arm supporting me to thrust further inside me, and I let out a soft gasp and came while still in Vidello-san’s arms.
I trembled, and Vidello-san gently lifted me up and pulled out of me, finally lowering me onto the bed, and to my surprise, I had started to become hard again.

I looked up at Vidello-san with a dazed expression.
I was breathless.
My heart was racing and I felt warmth swirling around the pit of my stomach.
When I was lowered onto the bed, I felt empty being separated from Vidello-san.
I stroked my belly, which was slick with my cum.

“…Here, I want you to stay inside me.”

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“…Mac…”

Vidello-san’s dick, which he’d pulled out in order to lay me down, slid back into my completely lubed ass.
I was strangely pleased to see that he was quite hasty.

“If you rile me up like that, I’m going to push you too hard.”

“You’re not… pushing me.”

I want more.
I want to be loved.
I want to love you.
I want us to be a family.

A wish that I sincerely believed was never going to be fulfilled.
Suddenly, I remembered that we couldn't ever become a family, and I sniffled.
Even though I was so close to Vidello-san.
I was doing something that I would never be able to do if we weren't lovers.
Because this world is like a dream.
Because it's… not… real.

“Mac…? Sorry, does it hurt? I couldn’t restrain myself.”

Vidello-san looked worried and put his lips on my cheeks.
Because I was sniffling, I wondered if I had teared up.

“It's not that.
When I think about how much I like you.
I like you so much it hurts.”

“Mac…”

Vidello-san hugged me hungrily, as if he couldn't take it anymore.
I clung to him with my arms wrapped around his back, equally tight.
I like you.
I like you so much that I think I'm crazy and wonder why I like you so much.
I felt like Vidello-san's whole body was saying he loves me back, and I wondered if he could feel the love from me, too.
I hoped he could.
It was a little embarrassing, though.

This was probably the first time I had ever felt so reluctant to leave Vidello-san.
The kiss goodbye made my heart ache.
After the kiss, a small, throbbing pain took root in my heart.
Vidello-san saw me out the front door because he was worried about being separated, and I just stared blankly at Vidello-san’s disappearing door for a while.

The more I realized that I liked him, the more pain I felt.
I mean, this was not my world.
Even now the alarm was going off in my head telling me to log out.
It hurt.
It was impossible to bear that I had to leave.

I closed my eyes and logged out, trying to ignore the lingering feeling in the pit of my stomach.

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I woke up from a bad dream the next morning and went to school without enough sleep.
As soon as I entered class, Yuta smiled and called out, “Kengo!” Yuta was as energetic as ever.

“Yo, Kengo.
What have you been up to these days?”

“Um, I've been going ‘round the farm, the gate, the general store, and the workshop.”

When I answered honestly, Yuta laughed.

“You really are the perfect craftsman.
Even so, you're doing well with the gatekeeper.
As you’d expect from liking masculine men.”

“Wait wait wait, who said I like masculine men?!”

“Because you laugh and smile whenever you pass through the gate.
If you look closely at the gatekeepers, they are all really well built.
It's a shame you can't see their faces in their helmets, but looking at your boyfriend, most of them are probably good-looking.”

The gatekeepers are all beautiful, though.
He said I smile every time I go through the gate.
Well, I like to smile.
And that mention of my boyfriend.
Boyfriend.
I opened my mouth in a hurry, trying to cover up the blush on my face.

“What are you up to? Have you made progress?”

“I've been leveling up near Sette lately.
When I was there I was approached by a veteran who has been here since the beginning and told me not to adventure too deep in the forest.
I heard there are some dangerous things out there.”

“What do you mean by dangerous?”

Yuta opened his mouth while scribbling in the corner of the textbook.

“They say it's a monster that even the top players over level 120 can't beat.
The highest level players are said to be over level 150, but I don’t know if even they could beat it.
Either way, they are people that we can't possibly compete with, and they still died and had to respawn.”

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“Wow, that forest sounds dangerous, I will definitely avoid it.
I'd die instantly.”

“I bet! You haven't reached level 60 yet, have you Kengo? If people twice your level can’t compete, you’d get crushed! I'd like to beat the forest monster one day, but that’s a long way away.”

The scribbles ended with a sigh – what the hell kind of monster was that? It was a strange animal that made me curious.
It was cat-like, but dog-like, the kind of animal you might expect to see if a slime were to mimic one.
Yuta was an artist, and that was what made it interesting.
Yuta's doodles were always fun to look at.
It was a bit comforting.

“Sorry, Yuta.
I'm over level 60.
Also, I've specialized into a higher tier alchemist.”

“Oh, really? Wow, what kind of alchemist did you become?”

“Herbalist.
I became one after completing a farm-related quest.”

“A Herb Alchemist? I can't even imagine what kind of alchemist that is.”

To teach Yuta, who tilted his head, I wrote 'Herbalist' next to the scribbled mystery animal.

“An alchemist who specializes in plant-related things.
The recipes are just those that specialize in plant-related things.”

At my explanation, Yuta mumbled a single word, “Wow,” before cocking his head and asking, “Is that really good?” Sure, it's not amazing when I talk about it.
What comes to mind is a peaceful alchemist master making medicines out of grass or flowers.
In reality, it's not peaceful at all!

“You’re planning to adventure out even further, right?”

“For now, I'd like to get as far as the frontier towns, but as I said, I'm not at the right level yet.
I heard that the recommended level there is 100.
We haven't reached 90 yet.
We haven’t leveled up at all.
Can you invite us to the secret dungeon again? It's full of super strong monsters, so we'll be able to level up fast.”

“Sage, right? Try the Dungeon Searcher.
I don't want to do the dungeon, but I'd like to see the orb once.
I haven't got any magic at all.”

“Magic is fun.
Next time I make a new avatar, I want it to be a wizard.”

“I have a feeling that if you became a wizard, you’d just be one of those guys who hit monsters with a wand instead of casting spells.”

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When Yuuta began talking about being a wizard with a straight face, I shoved him, and then we both grinned at each other.
He knew it was true, too.

“But this time I went on an escort quest to Sette, and it was a very high-level quest.
It's interesting, isn't it? The escorts with really good rewards are almost certainly going to be attacked by bandits or brigands.
They're not monsters, so it's pretty hard to fight them, but they had red names, so you get a reward for defeating them.
The quest was something like, ‘The reward depends on how much cargo you have left.’”

“Wow, I didn’t even know those existed.
I've never been on a quest for the Adventurers' Guild, so I can't really imagine what it's like.”

“But Kengo, you're always going on about ‘quest, quest, quest.’”

“I get a lot of quests from the people in the town.
The quests come out of standing around talking.
That’s why I don't have time to go to the Adventurer's Guild.”

And lately, I was going there when I could see Vidello-san.
Even so, quests were still generated.

“You have a strange way of enjoying games.
Games are all about defeating demons and raising your level.”

“I play games because I enjoy being able to make stuff rather than fighting and leveling up.
It's really fun, like experimenting.
I get excited when I make a mistake and end up with something completely different.”

“Wow, there’s no way I could play like that.”

Yuta’s face dropped into a sympathetic expression at my words.
It was a game, you could do what you wanted.
No one was going to tell Yuta to craft.
Crafting didn’t suit him very much anyway.

“But if you ever come to Sette, just give me a call, will you? I'd like to buy your high potions and high magic potions.”

“If I don't sell through Crash, he’ll get angry at me later.
He said something about me not pricing them correctly.”

“Then you can ask your big brother Crash to set the price for you.
Thanks.
If it was listed on the market, then there’s no way I’d get to buy it before it sold out.”

Recalling the quality of the high potions that I had Crash plan prices for, I was convinced and promised Yuta that I would ask Crash to set the price and sell it to him directly.
At that moment, the class bell rang, so I returned to my seat.
I wondered about the secret dungeon.
What kind of place was it that even Yuta, who was so much higher level, was whining? I wondered for a moment, but then as I moved the few textbooks in my bag to the desk, I remembered that the secret dungeon has nothing to do with me, a crafter with absolutely no combat power.